changes

a friend of mine just posted on her facebook saying that basically someone told her once "friends can be like ticks" meaning they can drain the life from you. good friends should lift you up, encourage you, strengthen you, and keep you where you are suppose to be spiritually. she said that if she didnt answer texts or calls, not to take it personally, but it is because she has to get her life straight with Christ. this hit me kind of hard. I didn't think anything of it. In fact, I have been trying to do the same thing for the past few months. I have no been hanging out with certain people because I feel like they do not provide the support that I need. I feel like when I hang out with them, I cuss more, I laugh at things that I shouldn't...I guess they bring the bad side of me out. I tried to get involved with church, and I tried to get them to go do things with me that would be upliftin and encouraging. I tried to be accountable with them, and such but I don;t think that they wanted it. I tried many times, and yet I kept hanging out with them...being pulled down until I felt myself fall farther than I felt like I ever had. I decided it was enough, and I had to do something. I had to make myself better. When I hung out with them constantly, I did not notice it, because I was acting the same way. I believe it all started when I gave up secular music for lent. My mind was on Christ, of course I couldn't help hearing secular music in movies and in stores and restaurants, but when I had a choice, when I was in my car, I listened to only Christian music for the entire 40 days. Even now I still have all my presets set on the Christian stations, and I try to only listen to Christian music in my car. The point I am trying to make is that, when I was focusing on Jesus, I saw things more clearly. I saw how my friends were living, doing whatever they thought was funny or cool. Drinking heavily and often, cussing, watching movies that no one is ever mature enough to watch, and I realized that I was no better than them. I do not think I am really judging them, because I am guilty of the same thing. I just know that I have to separate myself from that way of life. When my friend said that she wasnt going to text or answer calls, I texted her. Now, she takes a while to text back most of the time. I texted her though and she still has not replied yet...this was probably fifteen minutes ago. This is not unusual for her to take so long in replying, but it made me wonder, what if she doesnt text me back?. It made me wonder if I was bringing people down. I know that I joke innapropriately every now and then, I know I watch movies that I shouldnt, I know that a cuss word may slip occasionally. I don't want to be a bad influence on people. That is the whole reason I have separated myself from some of my friends. I guess I am writing this, hoping that you are reading this. I want you to know that I am trying, that I hope I am not a bad influence, and although I don't feel like I am a bad influence, I wanted to thank you for making me double check myself. I know that I have faults, and that I slip up alot, but I am working on it. Please keep me in your prayers and don't give up on me yet.