gratitude

I've been thinking alot lately, well not alot, but on my way to work this morning I was thinking that I should really be more thankful. I complain alot. Now that I think about it, I complain the majority of the day, most days. I say things like, "I just want to go home", "I am so tired", "I wish I didn't have to go to work today", and other things like that and many others. The truth is, these things that I say are mainly just statements, yet they are statements that don't show that I am thankful. Honestly, I should be thankful that I got some sleep last night. I should be thankful that I have a job, especially after watching the news yesterday and there are thousands of jobless Americans just from this past month. I know that things don't always go my way and I know that the grass usually does look greener on the other side but I am going to try and be content with what I have for the time being. Truth is, God has blessed me alot, and I take that for granted. I don't know why, but for some reason I am here where I am right now, and I should be thankful that. I should be thankful that I have have another day that I am alive, healthy, and employed. I am also thankful for my family. What are you thankful for?

The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood.
And looked down one as far as I could.
To where it bent in the undergrowth,
Then too the other, as just as fair.
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really abou tthe same,
and botht that morning equally lay
in the leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence;
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

it feels like the first time...

For a long time I have felt like I don't belong anywhere. I know this sounds cliche or whatever, but I guess since I have graduated I have just felt awkward and out of place. Lately, I have been really trying to focus on myself and focus on my relationship with Christ. I don't know what I want to do with my life, or what God wants me to do with my life...so I suppose I am staying here until I figure it out. I have been working at Squire Creek Country Club for over a year now, and it has been wearing on me. I just sit there for hours upon hours and it gets very old, but I am thankful for the job and the money that comes along with this boring routine. Last Saturday I started working at Dowlings Smokehouse BBQ. I decided that the extra money would be nice and it would give me somethign to do, as well as give me something different. I really enjoy working there so far. I have only worked two days, but I like the people that I work with and I am learning new things. For the first time in a long time I feel like I am where I need to be. I know I don't want to stay in Ruston for forever, and I know that I don't want to be working two jobs for the rest of my life either. I started going to Sunday School and getting involved with the singles class at church though, and it feels good to have a sense of belonging. I guess God has helped me get a fresh start and work through things that I have needed to work through. I feel like I am in the right place, or at least doing something right, for the first time in a long time.
Keep it classy bloggers.

tweet

if you didn't know, i'm back on twitter. it's been a while since i was on there last and now i am kind of addicted. at the moment i have 4 different social networking tabs open...is that bad? anyways, follow me on twitter at "cayce_murphy". have a great day. stay classy fellow bloggers.

changes

a friend of mine just posted on her facebook saying that basically someone told her once "friends can be like ticks" meaning they can drain the life from you. good friends should lift you up, encourage you, strengthen you, and keep you where you are suppose to be spiritually. she said that if she didnt answer texts or calls, not to take it personally, but it is because she has to get her life straight with Christ. this hit me kind of hard. I didn't think anything of it. In fact, I have been trying to do the same thing for the past few months. I have no been hanging out with certain people because I feel like they do not provide the support that I need. I feel like when I hang out with them, I cuss more, I laugh at things that I shouldn't...I guess they bring the bad side of me out. I tried to get involved with church, and I tried to get them to go do things with me that would be upliftin and encouraging. I tried to be accountable with them, and such but I don;t think that they wanted it. I tried many times, and yet I kept hanging out with them...being pulled down until I felt myself fall farther than I felt like I ever had. I decided it was enough, and I had to do something. I had to make myself better. When I hung out with them constantly, I did not notice it, because I was acting the same way. I believe it all started when I gave up secular music for lent. My mind was on Christ, of course I couldn't help hearing secular music in movies and in stores and restaurants, but when I had a choice, when I was in my car, I listened to only Christian music for the entire 40 days. Even now I still have all my presets set on the Christian stations, and I try to only listen to Christian music in my car. The point I am trying to make is that, when I was focusing on Jesus, I saw things more clearly. I saw how my friends were living, doing whatever they thought was funny or cool. Drinking heavily and often, cussing, watching movies that no one is ever mature enough to watch, and I realized that I was no better than them. I do not think I am really judging them, because I am guilty of the same thing. I just know that I have to separate myself from that way of life. When my friend said that she wasnt going to text or answer calls, I texted her. Now, she takes a while to text back most of the time. I texted her though and she still has not replied yet...this was probably fifteen minutes ago. This is not unusual for her to take so long in replying, but it made me wonder, what if she doesnt text me back?. It made me wonder if I was bringing people down. I know that I joke innapropriately every now and then, I know I watch movies that I shouldnt, I know that a cuss word may slip occasionally. I don't want to be a bad influence on people. That is the whole reason I have separated myself from some of my friends. I guess I am writing this, hoping that you are reading this. I want you to know that I am trying, that I hope I am not a bad influence, and although I don't feel like I am a bad influence, I wanted to thank you for making me double check myself. I know that I have faults, and that I slip up alot, but I am working on it. Please keep me in your prayers and don't give up on me yet.

victory

As you have probably heard by now Osama bin Laden has been killed and buried in a watery grave, in the ocean. I was overjoyed when I heard this last night, as I was getting ready for bed. For pretty much ten years now our troops have been overseas trying to find a him and make him pay for his wrongs. When I got on facebook though, I expected more people's statuses to be rejoicing in the fact that bin Laden is dead and can no longer threaten our country or any other country. I was surprised though because many of my friends posted things like, "I now officially hate America", and "Osama bin Laden, love the enemy". There are many others, but those are the two that especially bothered me. I actually unfriended one guy who had a picture of an Arab person as his profile picture now, I think the guy is Arab, but I saw the picture and immediately deleted him, because I think that it is disrespectul. The fact of the matter is that he, bin Laden, was a terrorist. He killed thousands upon thousands of innocent Americans, as well as thousands of other innocent people from around the world. I know that God loves everyone, and does not want anyone to go to Hell, but I also believe that bin Laden was simply an evil man. He deliberately set up terrorist activities in order to try and destroy our country along with others. For all these people who are saying things like they feel sorry for him or that we should love our enemies, I guess I see where you are coming from because I know we are suppose to love our enemies, and I know that Jesus died for every person on this earth, good and bad. There are in fact some people who just deserve to die though, and I believe bin Laden was one of those people. If you look at the old testament, the Israelites were always at war with someone, and most of the time, God told them to go to war, because they had been attacked or there was a threat that would be lurking in the shadows if they did not destroy their enemies. I don't know, maybe I am just overly patriotic or somethings, but I believe our troops did the right thing and I am thankful that our troops protect us from our enemies. I am glad that we have one less enemy to worry about now. Let me know what you think.

Your Love Is Strong

I went home to Pineville this past weekend and stayed with my parents, and got to see some of my best friends. My parent's church had their D-Now this past weekend also, so they had the Michael Reed Band come and play for the weekend, which is funny because they are the band that plays at the Tech BCM. I heard them play this song a while back, but they played it Sunday too, and I had to find it. I tried to upload the video on here, but I couldn't figure out how to do it. Anyways, the song is called "Your Love Is Strong" by Jon Foreman, from Switchfoot. This song is basically The Lord's Prayer in song version, it is amazing. I posted it on my facebook wall, so go check it out. Yesterday was one of those days that I was just ready for it to be over, but it got better with time. I went over to my brother and sister in law's house and hung out with them and my niece and ate some yummy spaghetti. Everyday I feel more like I need a change. I like my job, I like where I live, I love being so close to my family...but there is just something that I feel like I need to do, somewhere I need to go, and I can't figure out what it is for the life of me. This song though calms me. God's Love is strong. No matter what I am going through, He is there for me, always taking care of me. Some of the lyrics that stick out to me the most are , "why do I worry, so why do I freak out? God knows what I need, You know what I need" and then "two things You told me, You are strong and that you love me". That is enough...why do I worry? God is taking care of me. He's got the whole world in His hands.