changes

a friend of mine just posted on her facebook saying that basically someone told her once "friends can be like ticks" meaning they can drain the life from you. good friends should lift you up, encourage you, strengthen you, and keep you where you are suppose to be spiritually. she said that if she didnt answer texts or calls, not to take it personally, but it is because she has to get her life straight with Christ. this hit me kind of hard. I didn't think anything of it. In fact, I have been trying to do the same thing for the past few months. I have no been hanging out with certain people because I feel like they do not provide the support that I need. I feel like when I hang out with them, I cuss more, I laugh at things that I shouldn't...I guess they bring the bad side of me out. I tried to get involved with church, and I tried to get them to go do things with me that would be upliftin and encouraging. I tried to be accountable with them, and such but I don;t think that they wanted it. I tried many times, and yet I kept hanging out with them...being pulled down until I felt myself fall farther than I felt like I ever had. I decided it was enough, and I had to do something. I had to make myself better. When I hung out with them constantly, I did not notice it, because I was acting the same way. I believe it all started when I gave up secular music for lent. My mind was on Christ, of course I couldn't help hearing secular music in movies and in stores and restaurants, but when I had a choice, when I was in my car, I listened to only Christian music for the entire 40 days. Even now I still have all my presets set on the Christian stations, and I try to only listen to Christian music in my car. The point I am trying to make is that, when I was focusing on Jesus, I saw things more clearly. I saw how my friends were living, doing whatever they thought was funny or cool. Drinking heavily and often, cussing, watching movies that no one is ever mature enough to watch, and I realized that I was no better than them. I do not think I am really judging them, because I am guilty of the same thing. I just know that I have to separate myself from that way of life. When my friend said that she wasnt going to text or answer calls, I texted her. Now, she takes a while to text back most of the time. I texted her though and she still has not replied yet...this was probably fifteen minutes ago. This is not unusual for her to take so long in replying, but it made me wonder, what if she doesnt text me back?. It made me wonder if I was bringing people down. I know that I joke innapropriately every now and then, I know I watch movies that I shouldnt, I know that a cuss word may slip occasionally. I don't want to be a bad influence on people. That is the whole reason I have separated myself from some of my friends. I guess I am writing this, hoping that you are reading this. I want you to know that I am trying, that I hope I am not a bad influence, and although I don't feel like I am a bad influence, I wanted to thank you for making me double check myself. I know that I have faults, and that I slip up alot, but I am working on it. Please keep me in your prayers and don't give up on me yet.

victory

As you have probably heard by now Osama bin Laden has been killed and buried in a watery grave, in the ocean. I was overjoyed when I heard this last night, as I was getting ready for bed. For pretty much ten years now our troops have been overseas trying to find a him and make him pay for his wrongs. When I got on facebook though, I expected more people's statuses to be rejoicing in the fact that bin Laden is dead and can no longer threaten our country or any other country. I was surprised though because many of my friends posted things like, "I now officially hate America", and "Osama bin Laden, love the enemy". There are many others, but those are the two that especially bothered me. I actually unfriended one guy who had a picture of an Arab person as his profile picture now, I think the guy is Arab, but I saw the picture and immediately deleted him, because I think that it is disrespectul. The fact of the matter is that he, bin Laden, was a terrorist. He killed thousands upon thousands of innocent Americans, as well as thousands of other innocent people from around the world. I know that God loves everyone, and does not want anyone to go to Hell, but I also believe that bin Laden was simply an evil man. He deliberately set up terrorist activities in order to try and destroy our country along with others. For all these people who are saying things like they feel sorry for him or that we should love our enemies, I guess I see where you are coming from because I know we are suppose to love our enemies, and I know that Jesus died for every person on this earth, good and bad. There are in fact some people who just deserve to die though, and I believe bin Laden was one of those people. If you look at the old testament, the Israelites were always at war with someone, and most of the time, God told them to go to war, because they had been attacked or there was a threat that would be lurking in the shadows if they did not destroy their enemies. I don't know, maybe I am just overly patriotic or somethings, but I believe our troops did the right thing and I am thankful that our troops protect us from our enemies. I am glad that we have one less enemy to worry about now. Let me know what you think.

Your Love Is Strong

I went home to Pineville this past weekend and stayed with my parents, and got to see some of my best friends. My parent's church had their D-Now this past weekend also, so they had the Michael Reed Band come and play for the weekend, which is funny because they are the band that plays at the Tech BCM. I heard them play this song a while back, but they played it Sunday too, and I had to find it. I tried to upload the video on here, but I couldn't figure out how to do it. Anyways, the song is called "Your Love Is Strong" by Jon Foreman, from Switchfoot. This song is basically The Lord's Prayer in song version, it is amazing. I posted it on my facebook wall, so go check it out. Yesterday was one of those days that I was just ready for it to be over, but it got better with time. I went over to my brother and sister in law's house and hung out with them and my niece and ate some yummy spaghetti. Everyday I feel more like I need a change. I like my job, I like where I live, I love being so close to my family...but there is just something that I feel like I need to do, somewhere I need to go, and I can't figure out what it is for the life of me. This song though calms me. God's Love is strong. No matter what I am going through, He is there for me, always taking care of me. Some of the lyrics that stick out to me the most are , "why do I worry, so why do I freak out? God knows what I need, You know what I need" and then "two things You told me, You are strong and that you love me". That is enough...why do I worry? God is taking care of me. He's got the whole world in His hands.

surprise hurricane

Yesterday was a really good day. I went to work and did some weights and ate a good sandwhich for lunch. When I got off work at two o'clock I was worn out for some reason though, I was just extremely tired, so I parked my car and left my sunroof open because it was nice outside and I was planning to go run at the track and then run some errands while I was out. Well, I sit down to watch tv for a little bit and to take a quick nap...turns out that my nap was not so quick and it started to rain. I was thinking, this is great because I sleep really well in rainy weather. I was disappointed that I was not able to run, but I decided that I needed the sleep more, so I just laid there and fell back asleep. Somewhere around six o'clock someone rings my door bell, so I answer the door and it's my neighbor. My neighbors are really nice, they bring my roommate and I cookies every now and then and we will just talk and stuff. Well, all the said is "Cayce, your sunroof is open...and it has been raining for the past couple of hours". Deeply worried I ran outside and closed the sunroof and surprisingly, only the back of my seat and right behind my seat was wet. I need to clean out my car, so the only stuff that really got wet other than the back of my seat is trash. I know it's terrible to have stuff piled up on the back seat of my car...but sometimes I pretty much live out of my car, so even though it's a lame excuse--it's all I've got. Anyways, nothing is ruined so I am thankful. That was my adventure for the week. I hope y'alls week has been exciting also!

what to do

I feel like college was where I was suppose to figure out what I want to do with my life...but thus far I do not have any idea of what I want to do. I always see jobs that I think wouldbe fun, especially in movies and stuff, but I'm just not sure if I want to move away for forever. My niece who is not quite two has started calling me by name...which actually sounds more like "kakhi" than "Cayce" but, it is funny and she knows that that is me! She smiles and runs up to me when she sees me and I just don't want to give that up for some job. I really enjoy my job that I have now...I mean, it's pretty laid back and I get to pump some iron, and watch tv...who doesn't want a job like that? I don't know really...I just don't have any direction I guess. I think the main thing is I don't want to be stuck inside an office from dawn to dusk. My schedule now is from 5:30 am until 2:00 pm and although I started this shift with a grudge, I have grown to really enjoy it. The weather has been wonderful the past week, so when I get off work I might take a short nap and then go run and just enjoy being outside. Well, I think I have rambled on enough...if y'all have any suggestions of fun jobs let meknow!

Valtentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day. Today is a day that people who are in relationships, whether through marriage or casually dating, tend to love. It is also a day that people who are not in relationships tend to hate. I have always liked Valentine's Day and do not ever remember calling it Single's Awareness Day as many of my friends do. I don't know why I have always liked Valentine's Day, after all this is my 23rd Valentine's Day that I have been single for, but I still enjoy this unofficial holiday, I still get excited and nervous and everything just like I did when I was a kid in elementary school. I will probably end up renting the movie Valentine's Day and watching it because for some reason that is one of my favorite movies.
Maybe the reason I like Valentine's Day so much is what it stands for. Looking back at history, I know where the holiday originated and all, but when you really think about it Saint Valentinus was a hero. He was a martyr for love. For true love. Something about the story of Saint Valentinus and Valentine's Day just makes sense to me. Even though I have been single for 23 years of my life, I believe in love. I know that I will find true love one day and I know that this probably sounds really sappy and maybe even just dumb, but I know that there is a girl out there for me. There is a girl out there who is perfect for me. I believe that my one true love is out there. Who knows, maybe she is in the same boat that I am in, maybe her heart has been broken as many times as mine has.
Today though whether you are single, dating, or married do not focus on the past. Don't focus on your hurts and heartbreaks, focus on today. Even if you do not have a significant other to love, love your family and your friends. Jesus said, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35. We are commanded to love. So, today do not be SAD, but love.
Happy Valentine's Day!

Sleep Deprived

This morning I am worn out. I have been opening up at work at 5:30 every morning for the past few weeks, and it's not bad because I get off earlier in the afternoon, but it wears me out. Last night I was in bed at 10:15, which is really good for me because I usually stay up and watch tv or netflix. Right before I get in bed though my Momma calls and says that she and my Dad are on the way to Longview to see my sister, who is in the hospital for chest pains. Well, I get in bed and am praying for my sister because I have no idea what is going on. I am just falling asleep and one of my friends texts me to come hang out with them. He knows that I have to work early in the morning but for some reason, every night they text me and want me to come hang out and then they get mad at me because I "never" hang out with them anymore. Truth is they always wait until so late to do anything---ten o'clock used to not be late, but I guess I am getting old. Anyways, getting back on track, that text message brought me out of my slight slumber and I could not go to sleep for anything, so I check facebook and notice that my best friend back home has posted on facebook that she is confused about something, so I text her and she calls me and so we talk for a good while. She has to wake up at 4:30 every morning also, because she teaches elementary school and has to drive 45 minutes and she said that she is going through the same thing about people being upset that she goes to bed early. It was so good to hear that I am not the only one. After we hung up I still could not sleep, so I watched tv for a while until I finally started to drift off. Right as I was starting to fall asleep, my Momma called and said that my sister was at home now and that she was doing fine. She has some galstones, so she is in pain, but the Dr. said she is ok. I was so glad to hear that, and right after I got off the phone with my Momma I fell asleep. I guess my mind was put at ease. It was now one o'clock a.m., but everything was going to be ok. My alarm set for 4:30 went off way too early, but I got ready for work, scraped the ice off of my windshield and came out to work. Now I am sitting here, at work, writing...thinking about taking a nap. It is Friday though, so I have the whole weekend to sleep...and I think I am going to get an iPhone today! The sky is clear this morning, so I am about to go watch the sunrise. It's the dawn of a new day.